Double 700C and Tonic

Just before Christmas, I found myself joining the staff of a bike shop for a Christmas night out. We started in a pub before moving on to a Chinese restaurant.

Early in the evening, the boss returned from the bar with a substantial round of drinks, and we started discussing the considerable mark-up placed on drinks by the licensed trade.

Tubes and Drinks
Later in the night, we somehow got onto the subject of how we could hardly judge – as bike shops have their own equivalent profit-maker: inner tubes.

Inner Tubes.


What followed was a boozy conversation which, though it seemed like a good idea at the time, is admittedly one of the geekiest in which I have ever played an active part. For some reason that I can’t explain, it seemed a natural process to find an appropriate drink to match each of the inner tubes for sale in a bike shop.

I present below our reasoned findings, transcribed from the paper napkin upon which they were noted. Make of them what you will.

Inner Tube Drink
700 x 38C Schraeder White Wine
700 x 35C Presta Real Ale
20 x 2 Schraeder Vodka Red Bull
700 x 21C Presta Mineral Water
27 x 1 3/8 Tubular Red Wine
26 x 2 Schraeder Carling
26 x 2 Presta Becks
20 x 1 3/8 Schraeder Vodka and Tonic
16 x 1 3/8 Schraeder Tanqueray Gin and Tonic
29 x 2.2 Presta Single Malt Whisky
700C Cyclocross Tubular Sloe Gin
24 x 2.5 Schraeder Strongbow Cider
26 x 3 Schraeder Stella Artois Lager
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4 Responses to Double 700C and Tonic

  1. Pimpmaster Jazz says:

    The scary thing is that I can relate to that.


  2. Clive Andrews says:

    Any further suggestions, Neil?

  3. Antoine says:

    My 26×4.0 Presta would be a Youngs Double Chocolate Stout or a Guinness.

  4. szegerely says:

    nearly all right, but you missed 700 x 23 – 25 which is obviously bourbon
    and 27 x 1 1/4 is vintage port

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