Attack of the Exclamaniacs!


Hello!

I just thought I’d quickly write something! I hope you like it!

I’m not sure if you have noticed, as I have, that some folks, particularly work colleagues, love to use the exclamation mark!

All the time!

Sometimes they’re doing it to add some humour and levity to an email!

And other times, they’re doing to show some annoyance and add gravity to a serious point!

The trouble is, it’s not always obvious which is which! So you end up with a perception of a manic, shouty voice, devoid of any real emotion! I find myself reading with my eyebrows permanently raised in anticipation of a punchline or outburst that never comes! Reading this stuff is hard work!

Of course, sometimes, the writer has genuine desire to resort to an exclamation mark for a particular statement, but with every sentence ending with one, they are faced with a problem! This problem is easily solved, just by using multiple exclamation marks!!!!! The more amused/angry the writer feels, the greater the quantity of exclamation marks added to the single default specimen, so they start multiplying!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s a kind of quantitative exclamation mark!!!!

This issue has serious ramifications! On several occasions, emails from colleagues have had to be answered with a phone call, as exclamation marks were so prevalent, it was hard to tell whether one was dealing with anger or excitement! Or worse, a combination of the two!

In fact, a friend of mine is currently dealing with a solicitor! And this solicitor has become so aware of the perils of the liberally distributed exclamation mark that he has banned his staff from using them at all! So now, when they want to stress a particular point, or to assign importance to a particular sentence, they must do so through using an appropriate choice of words! Words, I tell you!

It’s almost as if the exclamation mark has become the anti-biotic of the English language! It is used indiscriminately as a cure-all for whichever ailment of expression we face! Yet the more it is used, the less effective it becomes, until we find ourselves massively overdosing, ruining our health and feeling none of the intended benefit!

This isn’t the worst of it, though. What technique do you notice when the growing hordes of exclamaniacs want to ask a question?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Posted in language | 6 Comments

Hello St. Pancras – Where can I park my bike?

St. Pancras
Today, the new £800m St. Pancras International rail terminal welcomed its first Eurostar service. I had a quick look at the nearly finished station on Saturday. It looks great. A simple hi-tech glass structure extends the original trainshed structure accompanied by Gilbert Scott’s glorious gothic front end to the station.

Looking around the new St. Pancras, it seemed that something was missing; that something wasn’t right. I couldn’t place it, but it seems the clever people at Camden Cyclists had identified what was missing: cycle racks. This enormous new rail terminal had been designed with how many cycle racks? Thirty. Just thirty cycle racks for what is supposed to be the main rail terminus of a world class city and Olympic host.

In addition, it has been pointed out that the surrounding road system does little to provide a safe environment for cyclists traveling to, from or around St. Pancras. Added to this the fact that Eurostar’s cycle policy is far from practical and Camden Cyclists had identified several significant reasons why this supposed revolution for British transport is severely lacking when it comes to its provision for cycling as a means of transport.

So, I’m glad to hear that the Camden Cyclists protest today was a great success. Calling attention to these three issues, they managed to provoke a sudden increase in the number of cycle racks, and the promise of a change in Eurostar’s cycle policy. Of course, the matter of improving the safety of the surrounding road infrastructure is a harder thing to change – more’s the pity that it wasn’t properly taken into account during the seven year construction of this immense and otherwise impressive engineering project.

Posted in architecture, cycling, travel | Leave a comment

howies and me


I’ve made no secret of my admiration for clothing company howies in recent times.

I’ve never been one to comment on fashion, but I’ve always liked howies’ open-minded ideas, their gorgeous catalogues, their friendly blog and their entertaining website. They really seem to have fun talking to their customers and sharing ideas with them.

Well, now I like howies a bit more.

And here are two reasons why:

Firstly, a few months ago they put out the shout for new T-shirt ideas. I emailed them an idea that was buzzing around in my head and I was fairly chuffed to be told that my suggestion had made it to become the winning T-shirt design. It’s now designed, printed and available on their site – Seize the Day Off

Secondly, and even more excitingly, howies are letting me come to play with them for a couple of weeks. Two weeks in the draughty south-west of Wales to see what’s it’s like on the other side of the impressive public image. Hopefully I can offer them some writing, some ideas and some enthusiasm. And hopefully they can offer me some insight into how they manage to do what they do. Bring it on.

Posted in marketing | 1 Comment

Protest Through Remembrance?


Another November 11th has passed, and another Remembrance Sunday observed.

But things seemed a little different this year. For as long as I can remember, the number of people wearing poppies in early November has seemed to decline each year. Why? Well, memories of world wars become more distant and attitudes to conflict and nationhood have certainly changed as generations move on.

But this year, more poppies seemed on display, and on the lapels of a younger generation. I’ve been puzzled by this. What’s changed all of a sudden?

Newspapers show their Remembrance Day front pages as always, but beneath the photos, they write less of the past and more of the present. They tell stories of the struggles that today’s service personnel endure. They criticise our government for the wars they have taken us to, and the way they have equipped and treated their soldiers.

So were the poppies worn last week worn by a younger generation as much out of protest as out of remembrance? I think maybe they were.

Posted in politics | Leave a comment

Unfolding the Folder – The Nonsense of Southern Railways’ Cycle Policy

Folder Unfolded
This bike is pictured aboard the 18.19 train from Brighton to London Victoria. Trains travelling between the two cities at this time, and for six key hours every weekday, are subject to Southern Railways’ cycle policy, which outlaws all bikes other than folders, like this Brompton.

Southern explain this policy as their way of trying to lessen inconvenience for non-cycling passengers, and presumably to accommodate more passengers on each train. This rule is enforced despite the fact that every fourth carriage on each train has dedicated space for two bikes, arranged with a layout which sacrifices none of the seating provided for passengers. For six hours every working day, these spaces are left empty. The only bikes permitted onboard are folding bikes, ranging from flexible, wobbly £200 efforts to more viable, reliable machines costing in excess of £500.

So, Southern tell us: Two wheels bad. Two wheels plus hinge good.

Time for a small experiment.

My employer has just acquired a Brompton for us to use as a company vehicle. A great idea and just the ticket for meetings in London or in Peterborough, home of our parent company. As a folding bike, it can be legally carried on all Southern trains, regardless of the time of day. But what if I took this bike on a train without folding it? What if I didn’t fold the folder? Is a folder only seen as a folder when it’s folded? Would it create some kind of inconvenience to my fellow passengers in its assembled stature? Would a guard (sorry – Revenue Protection Officer) ask me to collapse the bike into its folded form? Would I be thrown from the train as a two-wheeled trouble-maker?

Of course not. I wheeled the bike through the ticket barriers and parked it in one of the dedicated bike spaces where it remained for the rest of my journey. No-one was inconvenienced and no-one was denied any travelling comfort by the presence of my fully assembled bike.

Which begs the obvious question: If this bike was allowed onto the train in its full-sized, fully assembled state, why are regular, non-folding bikes forbidden? Bikes like the Brompton are great, but they are expensive, they handle strangely and they lack many benefits of regular full-sized bikes. To ban bikes from trains in the crude broad-brushed way favoured by Southern calls into question any attempt to acheive affordable ‘integrated transport’ as part of the relationship between the sibling cities of London and Brighton.

Some commuters previously mixing their modes of transport have given up and reverted to their cars. Others have tried the approach of locking up their bikes at railway stations, to the glee of bike thieves who are thriving in this new era.

When Southern first began to enforce their cycle policy, there were protests, petitions and news coverage. Maybe it’s time to revisit this issue, before Southern begin to believe that this way of working is anything other than a terrible idea.

Posted in cycling, environment, travel | 5 Comments

howies Autumn Catalogue


I’ve just been looking at the autumn catalogue from howies, the undeniably cool clothing company. Well worth a look. I’m not sure if it’s just come out, or if it’s been available for a few weeks, but it’s the first time I’ve seen this one.

Even if, like me, you don’t really like clothes shopping and fashion is a big turn-off, the four-times-yearly howies catalogue is a wealth of beautiful photography, thoughtful writing and fun ideas. I can’t afford to buy much of their clothing, but that doesn’t stop me from appreciating their catalogues.

There’s a paper version on its way, but I’m just flicking through the PDF. This season’s theme seems to be howies’ local river, the Teifi, and other associated wateryness – rivers, streams, oceans, pollution and stuff like that. Good stuff. Get one.

Posted in environment, marketing, photography | Leave a comment

La La La – I Can’t Hear You! (Updated)

Okay, it’s confession time: My name is Clive and I listen to my iPod while I ride my bike.

I’m sorry.

I’ve lost count of the number of friends whose faces have suddenly turned to looks of horror at the unexpected sight of me simultaneously wearing bike helmet and earphones.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a good guy. Before you start wagging your finger at a delinquent cyclist, I stop at red lights, I wear a helmet, I even have a bell. But I like a little music on my way to work. Is that really so wrong? Bikes and music are two sensory experiences I really appreciate, so enjoying both at once is a great way to start the day.

Yet this simple pleasure earns stern disapproval from concerned individuals – most of whom will express this concern from behind the wheels of their cars. “Oh you really shouldn’t do that!” they say. “You won’t hear the big lorries!”

What? Have you thought this through?

If I ride sensibly, and the traffic on the road drives likewise, the odds are that my progress will be unhindered by incident. And if I, or my fellow road users, make any stupid manoeuvres, I am at risk. Will someone please explain to me how this situation changes as soon as I pop a pair of headphones in my ears? Listening to music does not suddenly cause cyclists to swerve erratically from side to side as they ride. So why am I more at risk with a spot of music in my ears?

A while ago, a senior police officer was heard in the media to warn cyclists against the perils of riding a-la-MP3, following the tragic death of a cyclist who disappeared beneath the wheels of a lorry. Of course, it was her own fault – she was listening to her iPod at the time. The lorry (or its driver) must have been unavoidably drawn towards the device, for reasons I can’t quite fathom. How awful.

If someone was stabbed to death while reading a book in the park, would police chiefs be lining up to warn of the connection between literature and knife crime? Would the assialant likely have left their victim alone if they weren’t engrossed in a Dan Brown on a park bench? Would the attacker get away with a reduced sentence in light of the circumstances? “The so-called victim is to blame m’lud, for he was reading a book when he died.”

If you’re really concerned about the safety of cyclists, don’t nag me about my iPod. Put down your mobile, turn down the Phil Collins, slow down and give me some space. That will enhance my odds of survival far more effectively than forcing me to ride to work without my favourite tunes.

UPDATE 03/10/07

Okay, it seems this post provoked a reaction from some of my friends (I guess the friends I mentioned earlier). I have had a few emails, comments and Facebookings arguing the other side of the argument. Which is right and good, because, frankly, I was being a bit one-sided when I wrote the above.

So let me straighten it out a little: I do acknowledge that part of safe cycling in cities is about adapting to the behaviour of others. And I acknowledge also that without high sensory awareness, I cannot be aware of all this behaviour. I should make it clear that the vast majority of my commute, luckily for me, takes place on cyclepaths or very quiet roads with low traffic levels. There is one short portion of my daily ride which does offer more danger, and at which the iPod gets switched off and the headphones are removed from ears to dangle from my helmet straps. Anyone who knows Brighton knows how dangerous is the Palace Pier roundabout for cyclists.
So what was I on about in my original post? I suppose what I object to is not so much the fact that anyone should question the wisdom of riding with music; more the assumption that a cyclist is actually in some way to blame for any accident that befalls them while listening to their tunes. Switching off the music may, in some situations, put them in a better position to react to situations created by others, yes. But to suggest that other road users can use a cyclist’s iPod as an excuse for their own dangerous driving (as virtually suggested by the aforementioned Australian policeman) is blatantly ridiculous.

So let’s set the record straight:

Cyclists – Remember that your sensory awareness may be hampered by music, so listen wisely, if at all.
Motorists/Police/Journalists – Stop pointing fingers at cyclists’ MP3 players or helmets. There is no substitute for good driving which avoids dangerous situations and the onus upon cyclists’ defensive behaviour.

Posted in cycling | 1 Comment

London Underground


Looks like there’s a tube strike going ahead- BBC News

I’m not amazingly well-versed on the politics, rights or wrongs of the current situation. In fact, I don’t even live in London.

But it’s a great excuse to listen once again to ‘London Underground’ by Adam Kay and Suman Biswas.

Probably one to be careful with at work…

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Knocked Up

Knocked UpAll comedies are not the same, are they? Lots of films make you laugh but they do so in different ways. Some use toilet humour and crude Farrelly brothers slapstick, while others employ more sophisticated observations and characterisations to provoke our chuckles. And others star Hugh Grant.

The good news about Knocked Up is that the humour comes from so many different angles you can quite happily go along with friends from either school of humour appreciation.

The basic ‘Boy meets girl, girl gets pregnant’ premise of the film, the mismatching of the two lead characters and the ensuing gags are largely as predictable as suggested by the proficiently edited trailer.

But a range of secondary characters with their own nuances, situations and jokes mean there is still something to laugh at long after the knob gags have worn thin.

While Ben and Allison pursue their elusive goal of happy togetherness, we observe the quirks and problems of the relationship between Allison’s sister Debbie and her brother-in-law Pete. The ideal of a happy stable married relationship is actually exposed as being just as difficult and unstable as the struggle of the two main characters to form a healthy environment for the birth of their forthcoming baby.

Okay, this is hardly a comedy masterpiece and probably shouldn’t be considered for any awards. But if you’re trying hard to gauge the suitability of a comedy for a mixed group of friends, you could do far worse that going to see Knocked Up. And there’s no sign of Hugh Grant.

Posted in films | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday Rebecca


Two or three years ago, I made a birthday card for my friend Rebecca. She’s a bit of a fan of South Park, so I went to one those websites that lets you build a South Park character and constructed Rebecca in South Park style, then printed it off and used it as the basis for a birthday card. I think (I hope) she was quite chuffed.

Tomorrow is Rebecca’s birthday once more, so keeping topical, I thought I might replicate the idea on the back of the current Simpsons hooplah. So off I go to the Simpsons movie website.

However, after having made the necessary adjustments to gender, body shape, hair, skin tone, face and clothing, I am disappointed to see that the finished result looks nothing like my friend Rebecca!

How Messrs Groening and co. can let me down like this I do not know. I expected better of their animation skills.

But for what it’s worth, if you’ve never met my friend Rebecca, then rest assured, she looks absolutely nothing like this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECS!
Sorry I can’t make it to the party.
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment